rules for community life

On Sunday we talked about making every effort "to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4.1-6).  We were reminded that community and unity, our relationships with one another in the church, are vital to the mission.  But we did not have time to get into the practical details of just how that is done.

A few years ago I shared with you Three Rules for Community that get at some of the pragmatics.  The word rule, here, means "way of life."  You won’t find these rules written out in the pages of Scripture, but I do believe that they are practices that are supported and upheld by the teaching of Scripture, and they are very practical ways of "making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit."  I was first taught these rules back when Kim and I served with Youth With A Mission in Amsterdam, in a community of about 200 people.

The Rule of Miranda -- As in, “You have the right to remain silent, because anything you say can and will be used against you.”  If it comes out of your mouth and begins with, “I probably shouldn’t say this, but…”, then don’t say it.  It’s your right.  Remain silent.  Zip it.  Even prefacing your remarks with such a phrase is proof that you know better.  Listen to what you know and do it.  It is better to be silent than to destroy community with unkind remarks, gossip or slander.  I believe it was Mark Twain who warned us that it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. 

The Rule of the Benefit of the Doubt -- When we are confronted with the opportunity to assume the worst about someone, why not give them the benefit of the doubt instead?  If someone disappoints you or if you hear something unkind about someone else, give them the benefit of the doubt.  Assume the best, rather than the worst.  Assume the person in question had good intentions in doing what they did or saying what they said.  Assume they are trying to do the right thing and that if they haven’t met your expectations, there is a good reason.  Assume that you don’t have all the facts and that if you did it would shed light on the situation.  If you do this, you will help to squelch your desire to complain and gossip about others. 

The Rule of the Opposite Spirit -- When someone speaks angrily to you or accuses you of something, respond in the opposite spirit or attitude.  If they are angry, respond with kindness and gentleness.  If others gossip to you about someone, defend the person they are talking about and then move on to another topic.  If they are critical and judgmental, respond with graciousness.  This is very hard to do, but I am convinced that it is a good rule to live by and that if we are able to do so, more and more, true, biblical community will be the result and the witness of Christ will be brighter and stronger in our world.

May God grant us all the discipline and grace to abide by these "rules" for the sake of our unity and the Good News of Christ Jesus.  Amen.