Sticks and Stones

The children's rhyme, Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me, has been around for at least 150 years, according to some sources.  One source, dating from 1862, referred to the phrase as an "old adage", suggesting that it has been around even longer.  The rhyme is intended to teach children not to retaliate or engage in physical violence when others taunt them.  While it is certainly to caution children against the use of physical violence to solve problems, it is clear to all of us today that words and names do in fact hurt others, sometimes very badly.  I wonder if the person or persons responsible for this rhyme had ever read James 1.26, where we are warned, Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.  

Years ago, when our dog, Kasey, was just a puppy, we kept her in a crate as a part of her "housebreaking."  Of course, even with the crate, accidents did happen.  One time, upon discovering our dog in, uh, mid-accident, shall we say, I began yelling at her very angrily.  She ran up the stairs to the boys' bedroom and into her crate.  I followed her and continued my tirade.  As I stood over her crate yelling at her, I was taken aback to notice that she was huddled in the back corner of the crate, trembling at my anger.  Like a bolt out of the blue I saw something in that moment I had not truly seen before.  Of course I felt guilty for scaring my dog so badly.  Even more, however, I saw in her response a metaphor for the impact my angry and careless words have on my children when I am upset over something they have done.  Just as Kasey shook on the outside, so my children (and others) tremble on the inside when I do not keep a tight rein on my tongue.  Words hurt.  Anger hurts.  And if I wasn't willing to take note of this and do something about it, James 1.26 warns me that my careless words might very well render my religion worthless - at least in its impact on my relationships and interaction with the world.

In Matthew 5.22, Jesus warns us that ongoing anger with another renders us "subject to judgment," and the Apostle Paul teaches that we are not to let the sun go down on our anger (Ephesians 4.26).  That is, we are to find constructive ways to move past anger and find healing and restoration in our relationships.  Life is too short to stand there yelling at the dog every day.  Who wants to live that way, anyway?  No, there is a better way to live, a kingdom way.  And it begins with keeping a tight rein on our tongues.

My prayer for you and for us all is that we would truly see the impact our words and anger have on others, and that we would politely, but resolutely refuse to engage in the anger of our age - toward people we know and people we may never meet.  You and I are faced with so many opportunities to speak ill of or to others every day.  May the grace of God so freely given to you and me in Christ Jesus enable us to show grace to others, regardless of who they are, what they believe or how they may differ from us.  Amen.

- Pastor Stacey Littlefield